Gardener’s Code: I Can’t !

Does that sound familiar to you at all?

 Maybe or maybe not but there is (or was) this show called “Girl Code” on cable and I catch an episode once in a while. It is a funny POV type of MTV  show in which young women give their views on dating, dressing, style, and other deeper subjects which I won’t get into here….(Oh my! I’m clutching my pearls!)

But I like to watch it, and just wish I knew a lot of this stuff when I was younger. I guess I am really too old to watch that stuff but I am astounded  at hearing what those girls speak very frankly about…..(I can’t help but giggle……)…. Anyway……

There is a segment on that show where the girls say “I can’t” and give a short rant on something they just can’t stand!

So here’s an  “I can’t” situation here in my garden world.

We’ll call it Gardener’s Code

My daughter’s little dog helps me hunt down these atrocities. She will whine and give me an “eye roll.”  She is very good at spotting these violations of Gardener’s Code. And she doesn’t dig in my garden. She is a good little dog.

So here’s the thing: I can’t stand it when someone trims trees in his or her yard and just butchers them. Take them all the way down!  Don’t “shave” all the limbs off thinking it will grow back into a beautiful new tree.  This one on the left: Almost Dead. Flatline. 

The one on the right  is desperately flailing and putting some leaves out trying to make it. But still looks like a sock monkey!  The owners ( I have tried to eliminate the house in the background, no shame intended ) should have just took them completely down. Both of these trees were very tall and majestic, probably 50 years old minimum. This is sad. And I can’t……

And while we are on the subject of trees, know when to pull the plug. When it gets to this stage, it is years past being “put down.”  Can I hear an “Amen?”  When I see this, I just can’t….

While I am on the subject of trees, watch the type of tree, its shape when grown, an apparently, the amount you plant. Look it up and know if it is one of those “thugs” which will multiply like crazy. I think this grove will eventually take over the east side of the county.  Is it some kind of bamboo or something?

Now are you understanding Gardener’s Code?

You know I am a rock person. I love rocks as a decorative element in the garden. I love stone walkways etc.  But,   I just can’t…..

I hate it when people get a huge boulder weighing hundreds of pounds to put at the edge of their yard near the street. They are a statement. And so pretty when they are done right.

But…………If you are going to heave this 500 lb stone to your yard and make it a lawn ornament, then TAKE CARE OF IT!  Ask Santa for a Weed Whip!

I just can’t walk by one of these without  wishing I were strong enough to just pick it up and hurl it into their front door.  If you are not going to trim and clip and keep it nice, then freaking don’t put it there!  Your mower can then go straight through!

What a concept!  

I can’t.  (pouring a glass of sangria.)

Moving right along concerning upkeep, gardening is great exercise. It only takes a few minutes to pull a few weeds. Now when you let them get out of hand, like five feet tall, it is time to cut those down! The neighbors all love the seedlings floating into their yards. Can you take care of this PLEASE!

And when your shrubbery is beginning to EAT the sidewalk, it is time to come on over to your Mom’s house and borrow  buy or use your  hedge trimmers.  Can we talk about this?

And finally, since we mentioned weeding, how about spending a few minutes outside doing it?  After you mow, just a few minutes taking out the Big’Uns will keep them from taking over. Now can you see the difference?

I just CAN”T.  There’s even a rock border under there!  Do any of these violations hit you the same as they do me?  Just don’t do it! 

Thanks for reading. Let me know if you have any “I can’t” thoughts.